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TERMINOLOGY INTRO

In BDSM, Master is one of the honorifics some people use to describe the dominant partner or "owner" in a Master/slave relationship. Because it is an honorific of the dominant form, it is usual for it to be written with a capital letter.

It might also be used by the submissive partner as an honorific term in a D/s relationship. This can cause confusion when trying to understand BDSM terminology as both "Master" and "slave" might be used - as terms of endearment - even though neither consider themselves to be owned nor owner.

Some people enjoy the connotations of servitude or submission in calling their partner "Master", or being called "Master". To others, the ritual of such a formal mode of address may be appealing. It may also be useful in building roles in which one partner or the other may indulge in sadistic or masochistic desires, although people living as Master and slave are not necessarily sadomasochistic.

Usage of "Master" in most BDSM environs does not imply any specific expertise, abilities or formal training. To successfully maintain a Master/slave relationship takes abilities and skills beyond or apart from normal relationship skills.

The term "Master" can be gender-independent but is mostly used only in reference to males. There is otherwise no male-specific equivalent. The female equivalent is mistress or possibly dominatrix.

Although the Master is understood to have authority over the slave in some sense, this never extends to one's legal rights and thus there must always be an implicit element of consent involved.

--BDSMers are as romantic, loving, and committed to relationships as anyone else. But instead of finding a kiss romantic, they may find wearing someone's collar to be romantic. Or a spanking may excite them more than conventional foreplay, and enhance their love for their partner.


--To a masochist, extreme sensation is perceived as pleasurable. You may compare it to a runner's high: the more intense the activity, the more their endorphins pump, and the more ecstatic they feel.


--A person who takes the submissive role is neither passive nor a victim. He or she has made a conscious decision to pursue BDSM and has probably looked long and hard to find a compatible dominant partner.


--BDSMers make explicit agreements about what they will and will not do together. Many use communication tools to ensure that they never overstep each other's boundaries. Examples of these include "safe words" (a word or phrase the submissive may utter when he or she wants an activity to end); "contracts" (written agreements outlining each partner's needs, desires, and expectations); and "negotiation" (the process of deciding what kind of relationship the partners want, and what level of commitment each will make). See A short lexicon of BDSM terminology for more terms.


--Dominance and abuse are as different as loving intercourse and rape. BDSM involves consenting adults who expect to derive pleasure from their experience.


--BDSMers may be aroused by "regular" sex too, but the BDSM acts give them the higher level of sexual satisfaction that they need to feel emotionally balanced.


--Not all submissives enjoy pain and not all dominant enjoy giving pain. Many BDSMers are only interested in sensual play, psychological domination or fetishes.


--Being into BDSM does not imply any psychological or emotional problems. BDSM is only a problem when an individual feels depressed or anguished about his or her sexuality.


--BDSM/fetishism cannot be cured. They are not diseases, for one. These desires are innate to individual sexual identity and usually persist throughout one's active sexual life. Counseling can only help people to accept their needs and to make healthful, positive choices.

TERMINOLOGY

* BDSM- Bondage Discipline Sadism subbie masochism Master/Mistress. BDSM is not a psychological disorder.

*boi- Are usually female submissive's or bottoms and usually have a female Daddy. They are typically masculine or "butch".

*Bondage- Those who participate in being tied to objects.

* bottom- A term used for most that "play" in the submissive role. Gives up control but only for the play time.

*boy- Are usually male submissive's or bottoms and usually have a male Daddy.

* CBT- Cock and ball torture, often including the scrotum.

* Communication- Something that is very important to all involved.

* Contract- An agreement entered into by all people involved in the relationship, usually for a specific period of time.

* D/s- Domination and submission.

* Daddy- A dominant man or a woman who is the father figure to a boy/boi.

* Dom/me- The person in charge, the one that does things to someone else.

* Dominissive- Person who enjoys both Dom/me and submissive roles.

* Edge Play- Something that is on the edge of one’s limits. Be aware what is edge play to someone might not be to someone else.

* Endorphins- Chemicals produced by your body that give you a state of ecstasy and pleasure.

* EPE- Erotic Power Exchange (usually a term for those just "playing" with others involved in the "scene" sometimes used in conjunction with TPE).
*see below for more details.

* Feedback- Letting each other know how things felt to them.

* Fetish- Attraction or attachment to an idea or object. Examples- Leather, uniforms, black attire.

* Fisting- To take one's entire hand and insert into an orifice and slowly curl hand into a fist for fucking.

* Flogging- To hit someone with something similar to a cat o' nine tails.

* Flogged: To be hit with an instrument usually made of leather strips.

* Golden Showers- Where the Dom/me urinates on the bottom, drinking of the urine might be part of this play.

*
Humiliate- To hurt, the pride or dignity of someone.  This is rarely used in BDSM.  Erotic humiliation is usually what occurs.  Forcing one to over come inhibitions and do things they normally wouldn't.  Just remember what humiliates one person, may not humiliate another.

* Immobilization- Usually done
with rope or saran wrap to create
a helplessness in the bottom. Some also call this mummification.

* Internal Enslavement- "Internal Enslavement" and "Total Power Exchange" cover much of the same ground. Internal Enslavement is to take possession of a slave, in a consensual context. Dealing with a slave's thoughts, emotions and past experiences and establish and maintain a solid and inescapable state of ownership. This is achieved through control of the slave's psychological states, in contrast to external enslavement where the submissive to be enslaved consents at the start of the process.

* Life-stylers- Those who live and are actively involved in S/m or D/s on a daily basis...Including TPE/EPE relationships.

* Limit- A place a person believes they do not wish to go. Limits are always changing and being tested and/or expanded. Things that are a limit today might not be 6 months from now. Usually limits occur were the activity/stimulation ceases to be enjoyable or satisfying or a psychological place where one can’t cope.

* Marks- Something that might happen during the course of play. Bruises are the most common “mark.”

* Markings- Commonly done when 2 enter into full time relationships. Typical markings- branding, piercing or tattoo.

* Masochism- Getting of pleasure, often sexual, from being hurt or humiliated.

* Master/Mistress A title/term for those that "live" as a Dom/me. Webster's- A man who rules others or has control over something.

* Mentor- A tutor, a coach, a guide, a trusted counselor.

* Munch- A set time and place where people with BDSM interest gather for a meal and usually discussion.

* Negotiation- What is done before play or a long term relationship where both people state what they will and will not accept from each other.

* Newbie-Someone new to BDSM scene/lifestyle.

* Old Guard- Born out of the end of WWII, by gay leather men. Code words were used: 'Do you play the mandolin or the saxophone?' to discover which of them was the masochist or the sadist by the first letter of these instruments. For the era and the times, The Old Guard and its rigid social structure and manners/protocols were needed. The Old Guard will always be around, it is tradition.

* Owner- A term used for those that “live” as an Owner of their property.

* Play- To act in a specific way.

* Players- Those that enjoy the erotic aspects of Power Exchange but not wishing to live the lifestyle, or those wishing to expand their "vanilla lives.

* Property- A term used for those that “live” as property to their Owner.

* Punishment- There is punishment within play, called play punishment. These are usually activities done so the bottom gets enjoyment from them. Discipline punishment is real and is painful.

* Quick release- A device to quickly get a person free without needing to spend time in an emergency situation.

* RACK-Risk Aware Consensual Kink

* Role Playing- For those that wish to be somebody else for a specific period of time. Examples: School teacher/student, Pirate/captive, Officer/private, Burglar/victim, Pimp/hooker, Parent/child, Noble/servant, Sultan/concubine, etc.

* Sadism- Getting pleasure from mistreating others.

* Safeword- This is something the bottom/submissive can use to slow down or stop whatever is being done to them. Dom/mes can also use safewords, but is less common.

* S.A.M. or Sammie- Smart ass masochist. SAMs can be a lot of work, especially if they are the type to attempt to control everything the Top does, your energy will be spent trying to control them.

* Sassy (this is a term I came up with) Smart assed submissive/slave. To me it's much better to say “don’t sas me” or “my we are sassy tonight” than using term sam/sammie.

* Scene- Those "players" would go to "play parties" for non-vanilla play. To some it is also pre-planned play with possible role-playing.

* SSC- Safe Sane Consensual

* Slavegirl/boy- A title/term for those that "live" as a submissive. Webster's- A human being who is owned as property by another; a person having no freedom or personal rights.

* S/m- Sado Masochism

* submissive- The person not in charge, the one that has things done to them by someone else. To yield to the control or power of another.

* Squick (term I help make popular)- A term used to say that is way beyond me..."that squicked me"

* Switch- Person who enjoys both Dom/me and submissive roles

* Top-A term used for most that "play" in the Dom/me role. The one that controls things but only for the play time.

* Topping from the bottom- where the sub directs the Top what to do or how to do things to them.

* TPE- Total Power Exchange (usually no safewords used, usually those 24/7). Considered negotiated codependence.
*see below for more details.

* Vanilla- Not a person into BDSM.  Ingrained society norms and referred to as "mainstream."  Pro-creation sex between a man and woman.

* Weekend Warrior- Those that wish to experience BDSM sensations only in the bedroom or at a “play party.”

 

 

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